Missing home? I did too. Here’s how I settled in

My time as an undergraduate was coming to an end and I could not wait to start the next chapter of my life – studying for a postgraduate degree. For four years of undergraduate life, I’d stayed at home and commuted every day. The prospect of moving away from home was really exciting because I'd no longer feel like the only person in class still living with their parents.

I was 22, more than capable of looking after myself and relishing my new independence. Moving day eventually came and I was ready to go. I spent the day wandering around my new city with my parents and looked forward to exploring and meeting new people.

However, in the first few days I felt an overwhelming pang of loneliness. All I wanted to do was go back to the comfort of my own home and to feel a sense of familiarity.

What does homesickness feel like?

I would be completely fine during the day, but when it came to late at night I would lie in bed and cry. One minute I could be watching a movie and the next I would be sobbing. I missed my mum’s hugs, watching Disney films with my little sister and playing with my cats. However you experience it, homesickness is never a pleasant thing to go through.

Why things eventually fell into place

When the days turned into months, I felt embarrassed to talk about it. I felt that, at 22, I shouldn’t want to speak to my parents every day. I felt like a failure, and I didn’t know how to get over my homesickness.

Then one day everything changed. I woke up and no longer wanted to be back home and everything fell into place. Was it a coincidence that I felt less homesick after a couple of months? Not entirely. There’s definitely some truth in the phrase, ‘Time heals all wounds.’

But it wasn’t just the passing of time. Without realising it, I’d been doing little things to take care of myself and feel more connected. After a bit of time, this paid off.

So what can you do to cope with feeling homesick? Here's how to speed up the settling-in process:

Talk to someone

First of all you need to know that you are not alone. One thing you can do is talk to a close friend or flatmate about how you feel; they say a problem shared is a problem halved. It might feel embarrassing but chances are they’ll want to talk too. And hey, mutual suffering is a great bonding experience so you’ll probably come out of it with some friends. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, you could speak anonymously to somebody at Nightline.

Put pictures up around your room

Have you got a pin board on the wall in your room? Use it. Take some photos of your friends, family and pets so you can put them up and look at them when you miss them. You can also take framed photos although these may take up limited surface space. I have five photos pinned above my bed that I see every morning and evening which helps with feelings of homesickness.

Join clubs or societies

University is full of opportunities to get involved with societies. Join anything you think could be interesting and you can always drop them later if you don’t enjoy it. Whatever your interests are I can guarantee your university has a society for it. This will help you to keep busy, meet new people and give you something to talk to your family about.

Call home regularly

Make sure you have enough minutes on your phone to call home regularly, at least once or twice a week. Now I’m no longer at home, my little sister has to spend a lot of time home alone after school so I try to call her during these times. If you’ve got a decent Wi-Fi connection, use FaceTime, Skype or Facebook Messenger for video calls.

Go outside every day

There are many benefits to going outside and being surrounded by nature, including improving your mental wellbeing and general physical health. Make sure to leave your flat everyday, even if it’s just to get fresh air. It's important to do something that makes you happy if you can - for me it was walking around the shops or going for a short run.

At the time, I felt my homesickness was a sign of being weak and I was ready to consider moving back home and commuting to university from there. But I persevered and I’m glad I did, because I have come out stronger for it.

If you’re feeling homesick, do not feel embarrassed. It happens to lots of people and it does get easier. But try not to rely on time alone, look after yourself as much as you can by staying active and open to new experiences.