What to do if you don’t like your flatmates

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve found yourself living with roommates you don’t particularly like - which isn’t ideal. In this guide, we'll show you what to do if you're in this exact situation.

What To Do If You Don’t Like Your Flatmates

Sometimes, you meet people in your day-to-day life and you just don’t get along. Dealing with annoying people at work or school is one thing. But what do you do if you don’t like your flatmates? On paper, the situation sounds difficult. But if you play your cards right, you’ll find plenty of ways to get along. Who knows, you might even become fast friends. In this guide, we’ll show you what to do if you don’t like your flatmates.

• The ideal flat mate doesn’t exist

• How to deal with flat mates you don’t like

• What if my flat mates don’t like me?

The ideal flat mate doesn’t exist

Let’s start with a simple truth: the ideal flatmate simply doesn’t exist. You could live with your best friend in the world but you might still find you’re getting on each other’s nerves after a few weeks. On the flipside, that person you didn’t gel with during freshers’ week could turn out to be super fun company once you get to know them a bit better. You’ll find there are a range of familiar characters in student homes all over the land. Let’s take a look at who you could expect to live with.

The untidy one

When this walking whirlwind enters the room, hold on to your hat – or anything that’s not nailed down for that matter. Bathroom towels fall to the floor, surfaces get smeared with sticky substances and wine glasses smash. These people are messy, clumsy and the very definition of domestic chaos.

The noisy one

You’ve had a long day at the library. You just wanted to have some dinner and then hit the hay. But your noisy neighbour on the other side of your wall has other ideas. They’re listening to music too loud and it sounds like they might be assembling some sort of flatpack furniture while they’re on Zoom with their mum or something?

The thief

You head over to your designated cupboard for a Mr Kipling and your blood runs cold. Why are there now only five French Fancies when you know there were six? Uh-oh, the thief must be home – so it’s open season on your fridge, cupboard and bathroom cabinet. Lock up your half-eaten tin of beans.

The social butterfly

The social butterfly of your flat was the hero of freshers’ week, but now you’re in your jim jams and there’s an impromptu party happening in the living room. They seem to make a new friend whenever they leave the house, and their long list of admirers and well-wishers are all regulars in your flat. It’s kind of impressive – but it’s a bit much.

The loner

A person of few words, who seems to prefer their own company. You won’t even know they’re home most the time. Don’t dismiss them – being quiet or shy doesn’t mean they’re unfriendly. You might need to put an extra bit of effort in to break the ice.

How to deal with flatmates you don't like

If you arrive at your halls to find one or more of your housemates rub you up the wrong way, don’t worry. There are plenty of ways to live side by side, even if you don’t get along very well. Here’s how.

Try to find common ground

The first tip is a simple one – try and find things that you all have in common. Perhaps you all like playing Xbox or table football. Maybe you share an appreciation for the simple pleasures of beans on toast. There’s bound to be some common ground – so try and pinpoint it early.

Find proactive ways to overcome the issue

One thing you’ll quickly learn about living with others is that everyone has their own way of doing things. The best way to avoid flat disputes is by setting a few ground rules. Resolving arguments in advance can pay off later. Here are a few ideas:

• Create a cleaning rota so everyone is doing their fair share.

• Agree on a noise curfew so you can all get plenty of downtime.

• Allocate everyone a shelf in the fridge and a drawer so there’s no confusion about what belongs to who.

• Create a kitty so you’re all paying towards the household essentials like washing up liquid and bleach.

• Create a group WhatsApp so you can stay on top of any domestic issues without anyone being left out.

• Make time for each other – everyone is busy but if you can agree to a fortnightly movie night as a flat, your friendships will stay alive through thick and thin.

Avoid spending too much time together

Cabin fever is real. A key source of household friction is simply being cooped up for too long together. So, if you find your flatmates are driving you up the wall, why not take a walk, go to a café or find other ways to get out of one another’s hair?

Make friends that you want to spend time with

Totally harmonious households are normally the exception rather than the rule. You’re more likely to make friends with those on your course, in societies or elsewhere in your uni life. Be sure to join in, have fun and generally be sociable outside of your house. Learn more about how to make friends at uni.

Stand up for yourself

If you find your housemates overstep the mark, it’s important to let them know their behaviour isn’t on. Don’t forget, you can do this tactfully. Things don’t need to descend into a full-blown shouting match for you to get your point across.

Have a flat meeting

If you’re in the midst of a household disagreement, getting people around the table to resolve arguments is essential. A flatmate summit is an important way to clear the air. And if you’re not involved in the issue personally, you can play diplomat.

Contact our wellbeing team

Don’t forget, we’re here for you if you need us. Our dedicated reception team is always there to talk through your options. Drop by and see us – we’ll have the kettle on.

Apply to move flats

If you have problem flat mates and have tried everything to get along but still want out, get in touch. If you booked directly with Unite Students, we might be able to help you find a new room if there’s one going spare.

Apply to live with friends in your next year

If you’re not happy in your current home, it’s a good idea to make plans for next year. We take group bookings so you can live with your chosen friends. This will give you something to look forward to and make it easier to deal with flat mates you don’t like.

What if my flat mates don’t like me?

Sometimes, you might find that your flatmates don’t really seem to like you. You might not be able to figure out why, and there might not be a valid reason. But it happens. Here are a few tips on what to do next.

Could you be a better flat mate?

We’ve gone through a number of common flatmate character traits – but do you see any of them in yourself? If you find that you’re nagging, being untidy or generally getting on the wrong side of people, it might be time to take a step back and think about what you can do differently.

Sometimes people just don’t get on

If you’ve done everything you can and still can’t seem to find common ground with your flatmates, it might be time to simply accept it. You can’t win them all. Luckily, uni is full of other great ways find friends who like you for who you are. Don’t let it get you down.

Look after your mental health

If you find yourself struggling, help is always at hand. Get in touch with your uni mental health teams, or come and speak to us. We also have a great blog on how to manage your mental health as a student.