Eight tips for healthy relationships at university
7 February 2024By Amelia. A, Staff writer at Unite Students
Platonic and romantic connections play a big part in student life. Whether it’s the first time you’re dipping your toes in the dating pool or you’re a seasoned Casanova, this guide has some useful tips on how to maintain healthy relationships at uni.
Eight Tips For Healthy Relationships at University
Platonic and romantic connections play a big part in student life. Whether you’re focused on making friends at uni or meeting potential partners, everyone needs someone in their corner. And there’s no one size fits all when it comes to relationships.
Whether it’s the first time you’re dipping your toes in the dating pool or you’re a seasoned Casanova, this guide has tips on how to maintain a healthy relationships at uni.
Communication is key
As cliché as it sounds, communication really is key in maintaining a healthy relationship. In both friendships and romantic conquests, make time to listen to each other and pay attention to how you’re both feeling.
Talking with your partner can help you to feel connected and boost your bond. It also means you’re more likely to be able to respect each other’s needs and boundaries.
If something’s bothering you, get it off your chest! Air out any issues before they snowball into something bigger. If you’re not comfortable with something, let them know. If you set this example, they should give the same grace in return.
Communication becomes the be-all or end-all if you’re in a long-distance relationship at uni. Like it or not, phone calls and texts will soon make up the majority of your relationship. Scheduling in the time to talk can help you to feel closer to them and soften those long-distance blues.
Set realistic expectations
Starting a relationship at uni is exciting. It can feel all-consuming – especially in those first few months of the honeymoon period. Whether you want to see them every hour of the day or not, make sure you’re not forgetting other aspects of your life.
Don’t expect one person to be everything to you. Find fulfilment in other areas – like your friends, family or hobbies. Don’t neglect your saxophone lessons for your situationship.
Things evolve. We need different people in our lives for different things. The friend you call to drag you to the party may be different to the friend you need to provide the ice cream for a duvet day.
You may enjoy going on dates and creating memories with your partner. But is there anything better than having a laughing fit with your best friend? Focus on building all relationships at uni – not just romantic ones.
Spend quality time together
Think of a relationship like a plant. Unless you’re the person that struggles to keep a cactus alive. For any relationship – friendship or more – you need to nurture it.
Make time for each other and go on dates. But don’t worry, this doesn’t have to be expensive. While it’s nice to get dressed up for dinner every once in a while, there are so many other things you can do to connect.
Go for a walk, cook a meal, or find a shared hobby you can enjoy together. Don’t slip into the temptation of staying in and watching Netflix every time. Try to stay away from screens and connect with each other. Hit two birds with one stone – build your bond and reduce your screen time.
But make sure you also spend time apart
Balancing how much time to spend together comes with the territory of having a partner at uni. Don’t be one of those people that drops everything once they get into a relationship. Avoid becoming clingy and codependent on your other half.
Make sure you spend some time apart. Alone time is important to become your own person outside of your relationship. Your relationship should enrich your life – not become it.
Your flatmates might not appreciate having your girlfriend or boyfriend round constantly. It’s important to consider other people, especially when you live in a shared space.
Remember, it’s an extra person using the shower each morning which could start to drain their patience – and hot water supply. Check what your housemates are comfortable with before shower gel starts to go missing, and fingers start pointing.
Get to know each other’s friends
The Spice Girls say it best: “if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”. Putting in the effort to get to know your partner’s friends goes a long way in a healthy relationship.
Your partner’s friends can tell you everything you need to know about them. The kind of people that they spend their time with is a good indicator of the type of person they are.
It’s important to make an effort with people that are special to them. Spending time with their friends and family helps you to become more integrated into their life. It also widens your own social circle and helps you to continue making friends at university.
Respect each other’s boundaries
If you haven’t been in one before, it may be hard to know what a healthy relationship looks like. Healthy relationships are about respecting each other’s boundaries. These are limits that we set to protect ourselves. They make up the ground rules for relationships.
Boundaries take different forms and are important in both platonic and romantic relationships. It can be as simple as respecting a ‘no’ if your friend or partner doesn’t want to do something.
Boundaries can range from physical behaviours to emotional needs. It can be easy to feel rejected if someone has declined your offer to hang out. But you must respect their emotional and time boundaries. Don’t take it personally and always be empathetic.
Trust each other
Trust is essential in any relationship. Platonic or not, you need your person to have your back. It helps you to maintain strong relationships at uni.
Having a long-distance relationship at uni can be tough, but trust goes a long way in making the distance more manageable. Freshers’ week may be notorious for flings, but you have to trust that your relationship is strong enough to pass any hurdles.
A lack of trust can be shown through controlling or possessive behaviour. You should always feel safe around your partner. If you ever feel uneasy, we’re here to help.
Treat each other as equals
Being in a relationship at uni can speed up the relationship timeline. Cause for arguments may come up quicker if you live alongside each other – like household chores. Unequal relationships can lead to resentment, arguments and negativity.
Make sure that you have equal responsibility of things like chores, so it’s not just one person doing the work. A relationship is a partnership. Equal effort is required in everything. Keep things fair and make sure if one person cooks, the other cleans. And take turns planning date night.
Same goes for friendship groups. Don’t ask your friend to do something that you wouldn’t. Treat all your friends with the same kindness that you’d expect from them.
Can my boyfriend or girlfriend stay in my room at uni?
Yes, you can invite your boyfriend or girlfriend back to your space. But check in with your housemates first to make sure they’re comfortable.
You can have friends or partners round for a few nights, but not much longer than this. We want everyone to have room to thrive, after all! Remember, you’re sharing your space with others so it’s always best to check before making any plans.
